I scroll aimlessly through my phone, the light of the screen washing my face pale in the dark.
Notifications, texts, dumb beadlines,
Maching important
Nothing real
I glance sideway.
And step
Penny is curled up on the fe end of the couch, knees tucked tight to her chest, her dare relaxed in sleep.
The blanket I threw over her is half falling off, her bare legs afetched out next to me, smonth and pale in the dim light from the TV.
She lasted maybe two minutes after starting the movie.
Typical
And somehow — somehow
the’s even more beautiful like this.
Soft, unguarded
Fragile in a way she never shows when she’s awake, laughing and joking and milling her eyes at the world
1 drap hand down my face, forcing myself to look away.
Her bare legs brush lightly against my thigh every time she shifts, and it’s goddamn corture.
I’d rather be back overseas, adrenaline spiking and bullets flying, than sitting here trying to be a goddamn mank while she curled up next to me wear nothing but my clothes
My hand twitches, hovering for a
a second
some deep, reckless part of me wanting to reach out and brush a strand of hair from her forehead.
trace the soft curve of her check,
shove it down.
Hard
Another crack of thunder shakes the house.
And Penny bolts upright with a gasp
wild, dissipated
She scrambles backward, hands clawing at the coach, looking for something sold to grab onto
The lights are off I’d killed the cater to make it easier to watch the TV and in the sadden pitch black, she panies bander.
in forward fast, teaching for het,
“Hey,” I say sharply Penny. It’s mor
Chapter 42: Asher
But she don’t hear ne.
Or doem‘ registr
She lets out a small, broken scream, failing blindly, pushing at my chest like I’m just another shadow trying in het ber
Fuck, I mutter, catching her waists to keep her fam hurting henc
Her whole body is trembling –
not just shivering from cold, but shaking in that deep,
my that h
has nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with fear.
What the hell happened to
to herz
Who hurt her bad enough to leave this kind of scar?
My phone buzes against the couch cushion
Dad testing
kay down there?
Everything okay
I thumb back a quick reply with one hand, still holding Penny steady with the other.
Yeah. Penny got scared by the thunder. Handling it.
Because what else can I say?
How do you explain the way her panic is choking the air out of the room?
How do you explain the way it cuts you in half to see
I shift, pulling her gently toward me,
it?
She’s still fighting, small fists pushing weakly at my chest, tears wetting her cheeks.
I drag her carefully onto my lap,
my lap, settling her with her back against my chest, her legs curled sideways across my thighs.
And then slowly – I start breathing.
Deep.
slow breaths
Out
Deliberate
Grounding
After a few minutes, I feel her start to mirror it without realising –
her ribcage expanding against mine, her gasps slowing
She stops struggling.
the one that a not good for her, the In
Chapter 42: Asher
Just slumps against me, spr
I hold her tighter, the arm around he wants, the other faced against the back of the couch.
She feels so all like this.”
So impossibly soft.
Every part of me every rough, broken, handened pari – screams to protect her. And this other side of me, trying to keep away, wants to destroy her.
1 dip my head closer to heus, lovering my voice in a tumble.
“You okay?”
She nods, the motion small and jerky.
I don’t push for more.
I shift, lifting her carefully, and settle her back down on the couch next to me.
She wipes at her face with the sleeve of my shirt, looking embarassed.
I don’t say anything
I don’t look away either.
“What was that I ask quietly-
She pulls the blanket up higher around herself.
“Sometimes I get.. nightmares,” she says finally, voice so soft I almost miss it. “I don’t know why. They hot… happen.”
I nod once, taking it in.
Not asking for more.
Not tonight.
Maybe not ever–unless she wants to tell me
I put my thigh lightly.
“Come here. Go back to sleep.”
She hesitates.
can see the war in her eyes trust, fear, stubborn independence.
But finally, she scouts over
She curls up
carefully, laying her head on my thigh, one arm tacked under her.
My hands free fut a second.
Then I grab the blanket and drape in over he, tucking it gently and her shoulders.
She shilts, sighs, rel
Chapter 42: Asher
I hover debating, battling before I give in and let my hand skim lightly over het hala,
Soft.
Way softer than it should be.
Like touching span silk.
–
Tense to see if she flinches
She doesn’t.
So I keep going –
threading my fingers slowly through the damp strands, letting the feeling anchor me to this moment, this impossible girl
Outside, the storm rages on
But inside, in this tiny circle of warmth and breath and steady heartbeats
She sleeps.
