Chapter 24
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Evangelina’s POV
I don’t know how long I let the tears and rain run down my face. I make a little hiccup sound
and hate that I seem so weak right now, but no matter how hard I try I can’t stop crying so I
resort to making myself smaller. I bring my legs to my face and I bury my face in my knees. After a few moments I hear somebody clear their throat to the side of me and I move my head
to see who it is.
Alpha Maxwell is standing there looking down at me with a sad look on his face.
“May I sit?” He asks, gesturing toward the bench. I nod my head in response. He sits then
looks out into the muddy field.
“You have a lot on your mind and no elders to go to for advice or help.” He states and I look at him questioningly. “I know how hard it is to care for your pack. I couldn’t even imagine how
hard it is for you. Your pack is over double of the size that mine was. You also assist other packs and covens all while answering the call of the goddess when she asks you to help others.” He says and I am slightly taken aback, eyeing him carefully. “It was one of the first things my pack was told as new members of your pack. That you are blessed by the goddess.”
He answers my unasked question.
“What..” I clear my scratchy throat and try again. “What did they tell you?” I ask.
“That you answer the call of the goddess. She sends you visions of people to help and you do so without hesitation. Although most of the people you help are not because she asks, only because you wish to.” He pauses. “You are a good Alpha, Evan. A good person. And you have no one to turn to when it all becomes too much.” He says and I turn my gaze from his caring yellow eyes to the rain coming down in front of us.
“It is my job. To help people, to care for my pack. It’s rewarding enough.” I answer as another tear escapes my eye. I don’t bother to wipe it, as it blends with the rain still coming down.
“I never said it isn’t rewarding.” He says gently then puts a hand on my shoulder, causing me to look at him. “It is one of the best feelings to help people and care for your pack, but it gets overwhelming. Especially when your pack is so big and only gets bigger, not to mention the stack of requests you probably have for assistance.” He says and I nod my head but don’t say
anything.
“Evan, you don’t have to do it alone, you know. Carrying the weight of your pack and others on
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yourself. Most Alpha’s have elders to turn to for advice or even just an ear to rant or talk to.
Somebody to talk things through, but you don’t. I don’t think many realize just how tired you
truly are.” He says and my emotions that I have been trying to hide since he asked to sit all
but explode. It doesn’t help that the tingles lining my body are still there.
“It. It’s my job to take care of people. If I don’t then who will? I will not let people get hurt
because I am selfish.” I answer Maxwell. He sighs then squeezes my shoulder.
“But who will take care of you?” He asks and when I don’t answer he continues. “Even though
you are Alpha, you deserve to have some happiness too.” He says and I let out a dry laugh.
“I am happy.” I answer in denial.
“Having happy moments and being truly happy are two different things.” He counters and I
sigh.
“How do you suggest I be happy then?” I ask.
“Well first, you need to have a person to talk to when it all becomes too much. I know you
don’t want to bother your gammas or beta with worry, but you need to speak with somebody. I
would also suggest that maybe you ask some of the previous alpha’s and coven leaders that have joined your pack if they could form a council to help you with the pack.” He answers and
I smile sadly.
“I didn’t want to burden them with helping me. They came to the pack for a reason.” I say and
he chuckles sadly.
“I understand, but most of us, although we enjoy not having all the responsibility, miss being essential to pack operations. It is what we were born for and we gave it up to come here. Which is NOT your fault, it was of our own volition, but it still feels like we are missing an essential part of who we are.” He answers and I have to admit I did not think of it that way.
“I.. I think you are right Maxwell. I think it would help me at least ma..” I cut off mid sentence with a small grunt of pain and rub my chest where the pain was.Stupid mate bond.
. Most times it feels like little bolts of electricity, but there are those occasional times where it
causes a stronger bolt that feels like it stops my heart. Don’t get me wrong the pain has lessened over time, but there are still times when, for some reason, the bond wants to punish
me and it jolts me to the point I stumble on what I am doing or saying.
“Are you okay?” Maxwell asks in concern.
“Yea.” I grunt then finish my sentence from before. “I do think it would help me manage some of the pack. I am having a hard time managing training, the expansion, classes for beginner
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magics and history, assist requests and everything else.” I say and he eyes me warily.
“You know your mate could help as well.” He says and squints his yellow eyes at me.
“I don’t have a mate.” I answer. Well not here at least.
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“I didn’t think you thought I was dull. I have seen mate pains, and from what I just saw your
bond has dulled, but it is still there.” He then pauses and looks out into the field. “Your mate
was betraying the bond.” He says and I suck in a breath. Only two people know about my
situation in this pack, Linc and Marie.
“I don’t think you are dull.” I answer but avoid the rest of his statement.
“It’s none of my business, but it adds the feeling of loneliness to the overwhelming feelings
you have.” He says and I sigh and look out into the field.
“I met him 9 years ago. I had a vision that he was going to reject me and because of the
rejection I died. For my pack, I did not give him my name when he asked. I ran away and
haven’t seen him since, but I still feel the bond betrayal, no matter how faint it is sometimes.” I
pause and look towards the ground in shame as a few more tears fall. “Sometimes I wish that
I would have let him reject me. So.. So that I wouldn’t feel this way.” I say as more tears start
to stream down my face.
“Oh sweet child.” Maxwell says and pulls me close to his chest like a father would comfort
their child. I begin to cry harder, as even more emotions flood me. I hate feeling this way.
“For what it is worth I am glad that you didn’t let him reject you. Even though he is stupid for not even giving you a chance at all.” He says and I chuckle a little.
“Yea.” I say and he squeezes me tighter. After a few moments I looked up into his loving eyes.
“I am honored that you felt you could share that with me. Thank you for opening up and trusting me with that information.” He says and I nod my head, smiling sadly and looking towards the ground. “I hope this isn’t too forward, but” He clears his throat and a blush creeps up his neck. “You remind me of my eldest daughter who passed away 10 years ago. Would . you allow me the pleasure of helping guide you? Of being the person you go to for help or if
you need an ear to listen to?” He asks and I feel my heart constrict.
“Like a father figure?” I ask and I look up to see that his blush crept further up his neck and is now extending into his face.
“Uh. Yeah. Kind of like a father figure.” He answers awkwardly. “You know what, just forget that I asked. It is a weird request and we barely know each other. I’m sorry.” He rushes out, looking into the open field again. I follow his gaze as I think about his request.
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I haven’t had a father figure in 13 years, or any parent for that matter. I reach out to Veena to
see what she thinks.
“Veena, what do you think of his request?” I ask as I wait for her response. I look over to Maxwell who is playing with his hands and looking a bit sorrowful.
“I think.. It is a good idea. I don’t understand, but I feel like we have a connection with him somehow.” She answers me and I smile slightly at her statement.
“I. I would like it if you were that person I could come to for guidance.” I say and he whips head to face me with bright eyes and a smile tugging the corners of his lips.
“Really?” He asks in disbelief.
“Yes. As long as I don’t disturb any of your time with your family. The last thing I want is to take away their time from their mate and father.” I say and he shakes his head.
“That’s the last thing that will happen. You know Melissa, my mate, has even commented on how much you remind her of our late daughter. She died when she was 17, which would mean that she would be around your age now. One of our neighboring packs killed her for being a
hybrid.” He says.
“I am sorry for your loss.” I say and pause a moment. “You know, I think I will take you up on your offer to form a group of elders, starting with you if you want.” I say and he nods his head eagerly and grateful for changing the subject.
“I will accept. Thank you Evan, for not only giving the poor old man something to look forward to but allowing me to help you and be the ear you need. Now let’s get out of this rain and get cleaned up. You have gotten mud all over me.” He says and I laugh when I look at his soaked clothes with some mud in the spots where he hugged me.
“Okay.” I say and take his arm that he holds out to me, both of us walking in comfortable
silence to the packhouse.
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