Chapter 7
In my second year abroad, Roderick had started to ease up. He no longer kept such a close
eye on me.
That was when I met a teacher from back home. Her name was Blair Wade, and she was an exceptional therapist. During one of my depressive episodes, I booked a session with her.
I told her about the feelings I had developed for Roderick. Once I said it aloud, I couldn’t even bring myself to look her in the eye.
I was sure she’d be disgusted. Everyone else was, after all.
But she wasn’t. Instead, Blair offered quiet reassurance and encouraged me to work
through the emotions that had been weighing me down.
More than that, she walked me through the process. She even showed me pictures of her
son, Danny.
He was just a baby at the time, and she was already divorced. However, one thing was
certain–she loved him wholeheartedly.
During that period, Blair helped me more than I could put into words. Slowly, I began to climb out of that dark place, and things started to look up.
Until the night the fire broke out.
I had been listening to music with my headphones in, the volume cranked all the way up. As
a result, I didn’t hear the alarm going off.
Before I knew it, Blair burst into my room to get me out. But just as she reached me, the
ceiling light, loosened by the heat, came crashing down.
Without hesitation, she threw herself over me. The fixture hit her head.
Before the firefighters arrived, Blair knew that she wouldn’t make it. So she held my hand tightly and begged me to look after Danny. She wanted me to be his mother, and I agreed.
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Blair ultimately died in that fire.
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Later, I went to pick Danny up. He was still too young to understand what a mother truly was. After I took him in, he started calling me “Mommy“.
At the time, I had only just started recovering from my depression. But after the fire and
Blair’s death, it came crashing back–worse than ever.
I was terrified to fall asleep, afraid I’d see the flames again or Blair’s body crushed beneath that light fixture. That became my trauma.
In a foreign country where I had no one, Blair had been the only person who showed me kindness. And now, she was gone.
For years afterward, I lived only for Danny’s sake. I took care of him, yet I didn’t feel alive
or happy.
It took me a long while to snap out of my daze. Only then did I realize that I was drenched
in sweat.
Right then, a car pulled up in front of me.
The door swung open, and Roderick stepped out. He didn’t even bother to close it. He rushed toward me, visibly anxious. “I heard there was a fire. Are you hurt? Come with me.
I’ll take you to the hospital.”
Before I could respond, he grabbed my hand. It was as if he had forgotten everything he had
said before.
His complete disregard for boundaries made me frown. I yanked my arm back and snapped, “I’m fine, Mr. Campbell. You’re a busy man. There’s no need to worry about me.”
This time, the coldness in his voice was gone. Instead, his voice rose, sharp with urgency.
“Savannah Lloyd!” he barked. “How long were you planning to hide this from me? I looked
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into your medical records abroad.
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“For an entire year, you were in and out of the hospital multiple times a month. It wasn’t just for psychiatry, but therapy too! Why didn’t you tell me you had depression?”
His angry accusations made me want to laugh. He was blaming me, yet it never occurred to him that he might be the reason I had ended up like that.
Roderick went on, “I checked something else, too. You were never legally married. You’ve been single this whole time!
“What have you been doing, Savannah? You had a child out of wedlock and raised him alone. How could you let things get this bad?”
At the same time, Danny shrank behind me, his face pale with fear. Then, the tears came.
I took a deep breath and got to my feet. Without a second thought, I slapped Roderick hard.
The blow stopped him cold. Stunned, he touched his cheek and stared at me blankly.
“Roderick Campbell, who do you think you are to question me?” I asked coldly. Then, I added, “So what if I told you that I nearly died from depression? Or that I was too afraid to
leave the house because of the gun violence? Or that I barely survived a fire?
“You’d probably think I was just trying to get your attention. Would you have believed me? Would you have cared?
“You sent me abroad, disappeared from my life, and never once checked in. Then one day, you called and ordered me to come back, just to tell me to stay out of your life.
“And now you show up pretending to care? Don’t you think you’re being a hypocrite? Don’t forget. You were the one who forbade me from ever contacting you.”
Roderick fell silent upon hearing that. After a moment, he stepped forward. “I…”
I collapsed back onto the curb, completely drained. Even so, I managed to say, “You were
the one who said we no longer have anything to do with each other.”
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Well, that was the truth. What remained of my life had already been destroyed. All I wanted now was peace and for him to leave me alone.
In those six years, I had learned to manage everything on my own. I had also let go of him long ago. The tragedy was that I had spent the best years of my life learning about his true
nature.
With that, I picked Danny up and walked in the opposite direction. Every step I took carried
me farther from Roderick.
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