Chapter 112
“May I come in?” she asks.
I open the door and hold up my drink, offering her one.
“Yes, thank you.”
She stands there, watching me while I pour her drink. When I hand it
to her, I finally look at her and see the confusion on her face.
“Have I done something to offend you, Sebastian? Have I done something wrong?”
“No, Christina. You haven’t done anything wrong,” I say, turning away from her. “In fact, you’ve done everything perfectly.”
I stare out the window, seeing her reflection in the glass as she watches.
- me.
“I don’t understand,” she says softly.
I turn and look at her. “I feel like I’m cheating on my mate,” I tell her honestly.
She frowns. “Your mate?”
“Yes. Suzanne. My dead mate. I feel like I’m cheating on her.”
“Because you’re my partner in the sex class,” she says, as if still trying to make sure she understands.
“No, well yes, but that shouldn’t have been a problem. It’s not like I haven’t been with women since Suzanne died. I’m not a eunuch,” I say,
sighing and shooting the rest of this drink down before throwing myself onto the couch and putting my head in my hands.
I hear her put down her drink and then feel the couch shift beside me.
I turn and look at her, watching her frown at whatever she sees on my face.
“Sex with you, sex with anyone, shouldn’t be better than it was with my fated mate. But it is and I don’t know how to reconcile that within myself. I told you I feel a pull to you. That was already unexpected and probably what is making our time together so incredible. But you’re perfect and I don’t know how to resolve what now feels like. imperfections in my mate. That’s making me feel like a terrible man, like maybe I was never a good enough mate to her to begin with,” I say, my voice getting thick with emotion.
She begins rubbing her hand over my back. “We can stop, Sebastian…”
I shake my head before she finishes. “No. I promised you that I would help you in any way possible.”
“Sebastian…”
“I just need some time to figure this out for myself, Christina. Let’s call this my own hell week. I have to come to terms with how I’m feeling and what that means for my past and my future.”
She leans against me. “I’m here for you. If you need to talk. If you want silent company. If you need to yell. I’ll be here for you,” she says, making me smile.
“You’ve been paying attention in the Dealing with Crisis class,” I say.
She shrugs. “It’s what any good Alpha would do, offer support to someone who needs it. You’ve given me so much support already,
Sebastian. Even today on the Beast, you made sure I didn’t let the ice challenge stop me. There’s no reason why I can’t be a support to you too. Doing this. being in the intimate positions that we are requires a lot of trust for both of us. Trust me that I won’t hurt you. Trust me that I’ll give you whatever space you need when you need it. Just be honest with me and let me know where you are with things. I don’t need to pass this Academy, Sebastian. I’m not taking over a pack. I’m doing this for myself. So, if you and I being partners for the sex class is too much, well, I’ve already earned twenty points and that will be enough
for me.”
I look at her, brushing her hair behind her shoulder. “At the risk of giving mixed signals, I’m not willing to stop being with you. I told you I wanted to see where this goes, and it’s obviously taken a hard left turn for me. But, I’ll figure it out.” I say, stroking my thumb over her cheek. “You need to focus on getting on that leaderboard, which you’re already doing a great job of, and I need to figure out how to let the ghosts of my past go. Once we both get through that, then I want to see where we end up.”
“Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you?” she asks.
“Just be you.” I say, leaning in and pressing my lips to hers. It’s a bit more than a friendship kiss, but I don’t push it any further and neither
does she.
“Thank you for being honest with me, Sebastian. I’ll leave you to your evening. Just let me know if there is anything that I can do to make this casier for you.”
“I will. By the way, how is your body feeling? Will you be good for class tomorrow night?”
