Chapter 237: Boomer
She’s fast asleep.
Her breaths come soft and even, mouth parted slightly, lashes brushing her cheeks like tiny shadows. Her head rests just beneath my chin, the crown of it tucked against my chest like it belongs there. And I haven’t stopped playing with her hair.
I told her it would help her sleep. I didn’t lie.
But I didn’t say it would help me, too.
My fingers comb through the strands, slow and gentle, undoing the last few kinks from where her braid held tight all day. I trace them lightly, like the rhythm will imprint her into me. Like if I memorize every line of her hair, I won’t forget this. Her, here. Her trusting me.
Even now, hours later, I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
I’m not dumb.
I know Asher trusts me–with her safety, with her body if it came to that, with her life, if needed. But I also know he doesn’t necessarily trust me not to fall for her.
And he’s not wrong.
I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t trying to. But it’s impossible to be this close to someone like Penny and not feel it slowly bleed into your bones. Like sun through a window you thought was closed. Like something warm and golden seeping into you, day after day..
The way she looks at you when you say something funny, and she forgets to hold back her laugh. The way she tears up at kindness. The way she says thank you and means it like you saved her world just by existing in it.
She’s everything.
Even now–especially now.
Her face is soft in sleep, no tension in her brow, no storm in her eyes. Just that gentle rise and fall of her chest against me, her cheeks still flushed from the heat of the room, belly rounded from all the food I fed her earlier tonight, hair tangled in my hands.
She looks real.
Not like a fantasy. Not like a distant star.
Like a girl I could love. Like a girl I already like so much..
I shift slightly, careful not to wake her, and let myself look. Just look. Her profile is sweet and soft, lips parted in sleep, brow peaceful. She murmurs something under her breath–nothing I can make out–but I can feel the trust in her body as she shifts slightly closer. Like I’m safety.
She trusts me.
That thought twists something deep in my chest.
Because what happens when she doesn’t need me to be that anymore?
I feel it–the ache in my throat, the burn behind my eyes. I blink it away.
I know this isn’t mine. None of this is. It never was,
But it felt like it could’ve been. If the universe tilted just a little differently. If Asher hadn’t come first. If she hadn’t already fallen for him so completely
that her whole world bent in his direction.
God, the way she loves him–it’s in everything she does.
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Chapter 237: Boomer
It’s in the way she still checks her phone after every rehearsal. The way her face crumples when his name doesn’t light up her screen. The way the talle about him even when she’s trying not to. Like he’s a gravity she can’t escape.
And who could blame her?
Asher’s a force. The kind of man who walks into a room and makes everyone sit up straighter. The kind of man who doesn’t have to say much to be heard. Who would burn the world down if you hurt someone he loves.
And I love him like a brother. I owe him everything.
But right now? I hate him a little, too.
Because he got there first. Because she chose him. Because he left, and I was the one who got to see what she looks like when she breaks, and I hate him for that too. For making her cry. For making her hurt.
Even though I know he did it to protect her.
I glance down at her again.
She’s beautiful like this.
Not in the loud, center–of–the–room way. But in the quiet, ruin–you–forever kind of way. The kind that sneaks up on you, stays in your lungs, in your pulse, until you realize she’s inside every breath you take.
God, I could fall for her.
Hell, I think I already am.
If she stayed here a little too long, if she laughed at too many of my dumb jokes, if she let me do this–just this, play with her hair in the dark, make her tea in the morning, look at me like I’m safe–for a few more days…
I’d never be able to stop.
I brush a strand off her cheek, my fingers aching with the urge to touch her skin. To trace the lines of her jaw, the curve of her cheekbone, the bow of her lips.
But I don’t.
Because I’m not allowed to.
Instead, I let my hand drift back to her hair, trailing soft strokes through it like she’ll disappear if I don’t. Like I can somehow keep her here just a little longer.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand.
flinch, curse under my breath, and grab it quick before it wakes her.
It’s a text.
ASHER:
took care of it. I want to see her tomorrow.
I stare at it for a long moment.
Then I sigh. Loud. Heavy.
There it is.
The end of this little,dream I’ve been livings.
Chapter 237: Boomer
The end of pretending she’s just… here, with me. Like she might stay. Like she might choose this.
I want to be relieved.
And I am.
I’m relieved she’s safe. That the vultures are handled, that Asher came out the other side of whatever storm he just walked through. That she won’t have to look over her shoulder anymore. That she can breathe again.
But I’m also wrecked.
Because now it’s over.
The quiet nights. The shared jokes. Her dancing around the kitchen while I made her breakfast. The way she falls asleep with her legs curled toward me. The sound of her laugh echoing in my apartment like it belongs here.
I text him back.
BOOMER:
okay, i’ll bring her to your place in the morning.
His reply comes fast.
ASHER:
thank you.
I don’t answer.
I toss the phone to the side and shift down in the bed, just a little closer. Not enough to wake her. Not enough to cross a line.
But enough.
Enough to memorize this.
I tuck an arm around her waist, feel the heat of her back against my chest, the soft weight of her hair slipping over my arm, My nose rests in her hairlin just a second.
One second.
That’s all Tget.
This is the last time I’ll hold her like this.
