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Chapter 169: Asher
Penny shifts slightly on my chest, listening,
“We asked to be reinstated. Told him we’d be
“But he said no
Penny’s brows pinch a little. “Why?”
“That’s what we asked. Thought maybe we needed mere time, maybe he was playing it cautious, I told him we’d be line, I argued. Said we didn’t fail the mission. The target got out. The operation was technically a success. I didn’t want to think about the lives lost at that pofer*
I pause, the memory cutting deeper than I expected.
“He said it wasn’t about that. Said we lost nine men that day. Nine. And he refused to risk losing the four that were left.
Penny’s hand slips over my chest, soothing, grounding-
“I told him I wanted to go back. That we weren’t broken, That we’d made it. That’s what we trained for. He didn’t care. Put all four of un–me, Rooster Night, and Smoke–on mandatory leave. Three months, minimum. Said he’d think about it after that.”
Her eyes search mine. “No room for discussion?”
shake my head. “No,
My voice is quieter now. “At first, I was furious. Couldn’t sit still. Felt like I’d crawled out of hell just to be told I wasn’t welcome anymore. ghost.Something no one knew what to do with.”
Penny’s lips press together, her eyes soft with understanding-
“Smoke had already gone home. Disappeared into psychiatric evals. They said
Like I was a
got PTSD so bad he can’t be around load noises, can’t sleep. Läst Lizie |
saw him, he tried to talk and just vomited. Night… he was different. Glad not to go back. Said he wanted to feel something again. Rooster… he was pissed a Gest. Said he didn’t want to sit around like a broken piece of furniture.”
I buff a tired breath
“But then he thought of Anna. Mosed in with her, proposed to her. And suddenly, that anger was gone. He wanted to stay. Wanted something else.”
“And your” Penny asks gently.
I look down at her.
“I didn’t want something else,” I say. “Not then, I only knew how to be one thing. A weapon. A shield. But when they told me I couldn’t go back… I didn’t know what the hell I was supposed to do.”
1 brush a strand of hair behind her ear. “Now? I think… maybe I was supposed to find this instead.”
Her.
