Chapter 85: Asher
sleep again.
thes breathing’s steady now. Skewer, Softer, One hand still catches the fabric of my shirt like she’s card I’ll wanish if she lets go. For tire what she thinks I am – some anchor? A shield? Something temporary!
But it’s starting to feel like Fat something else too. Something I shouldn’t be..
Estare at the ceiling in the dark. There’s nothing to see, just shadows and the quiet rhythm of the fan blades spinning above. The moonlight slices faintly through the edges of the certain, not enough to brighten the room, but just enough to highlight the contrast between her softness and my very not–sot self.
My fingers are still moving. Absently tracing circles on her lower back, where her shirt rode up a little while ago. I should stop. I should’ve stopped twenty minutes ago. But she didn’t pull away. And when she shivered, I didn’t think of letting go. I only thought of pulling her closer
God, I’m in deep shit.
She doesn’t know
She doesn’t know how I watch her. Not always. Not in ways that would make me hate myself. But just… when she’s laughing with Ty. When she’s stretching on the living room floor. When she’s cooking like she’s afraid the spatula might bite her. She makes me feel–things. Stupid things, Dangerous things
She shifts a little. Her knee humps against my thigh. Her skin is warm. That little brush feels like a shot of adrenaline to the chest.
I need to stop this.
She murmoured something in her sleep earlier–my name. Not loud. Not like she was dreaming of me. Just… a whisper. Maybe a sip. Maybe nothing
But I heard it.
And it cracked something open in me.
I pull her in a bit more, best an inch, Just enough so that her forehead is buried under my chin again. It’s reckless. I know that. I could blame the darkness or the fact that she called me when she was terrified, or the way her voice sounded when the told me it was Tyler who left that mark on her.
But it’s not any of those things.
It’s het.
It’s just her.
There’s something about Penny Vales that crawls into your bloodstream and stays there. Something about the way she’s always trying to hold herself
The way the tres so damn hand to be good, and kind, and carefat. together. The way she apologizes for needing ampone|||
And then there’s the way she touched my sear earlier. Like it mattered. Like it meant something-
I didn’t mean to say
mean to say anything.
But when her fingers brushed the jagged part, the memory was already there. The etion. The heat. The fucking smell of ancks and per confusion. And then her touch–gentle and set and deliberate–like it could and the pain that came with it.
It won’t go away even if you rub it, princess.
and blood and
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Chapter 85: Asher
She frone when I said it. I knew she wild But I didn’t step touching her either.
I’m losing contend
I don’t love central
Not when it matten.
I shift a little now, trying to rate the light coil of heat at the base of my spine. Her leg shifts against mine in response and I nearly curse aloud. Not becaur she’s doing anything. But because she isn’t. She’s just asleep, tangled in me like Em mome safety net. And I feel like I’m a second way from becoming someone I don’t want to be.
My hand moves to her hair, I stroke it gently, watching the way it catches in the faint moonlight. She smell like vanilla and sleep and som underneath. I could stay here. I want ta
But I can’L
She’s Tyler’s girl
Even if he doesn’t treat her like she should be treated.
Even if I want to protect her from everything, including him.
Even if I’m not sure how much longer I can lie this close to her and pretend she doesn’t make my pulse race and my control fray at the edges.
I sigh quietly. Brush my lips against her hair.
Just once.
Just a whisper of a touch.
Because I know the moment she wakes up, all of thin–this softness, this nearness–will end.
And I’ll have to go back to pretending
That I’m not falling for my brother’s girl
Her fingers twitch again, soft against my ribs, and I wonder if she’s dreaming. I hope she is. I hope whatever her mind is conjuring feels warm and safe, because that’s all I ever wanted her to feel tonight. After everything
My hand moves beker I can stop it
Slow Careful
I brush her hair back from her face, tocking it behind her eat, even though it falls right back a second later. Doesn’t matter. I wanted to touch her. Needed
She shifts slightly, and her short lifts just a little more, the smooth skin of her back pressing closer against my fingers. I trail them down her spine, light enough to be mistaken for a breeze. She doesn’t move. Just breather.
God.
I shouldn’t be doing this.
But I don’t slop
This might be the only time I get to have her this close. The only time I get to pretend she’s mine. Just for a night. Just for a few heartbeats in the dark when nobody else is watching, and she’s asleep and soft and hasn’t pulled away.
Source her spine again. S Slower. I count each vertebra under my fingertips like a rosary I a
I don’t deserve in bold.
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Chapter 85: Asher
She sighs,
My heart bert
I shift jest enough to press my lips to the con of her head Barely there. Just a ghe
him. A promise I can’t make. A with I’m and allowed
She’s
‘s team against me, and the feel of her chest using and falling with each breath is enough to make me ache
My hand moves again, skimming the base stilp of skin at her waist. I let it finger there for a moment, feeling the way her dy carls closer to mine belongs her. Like she belongs ber
I close my eyes
so deep
I want to memorize her like this. The way she tacks herself into my chest. The way her fingers curl in my shit like they’ve always known this fabric. The www her breathing slows when I hold her tighter.
I wonder if she’d let me do this if she were awake,
No. I know the answer to that. She’d pull away. Because she believes Tyler’s still the boy who chased her heart down and held it up
I don’t know when he stopped being that for her, I don’t even know when I started wanting to take his place.
All I know is I’m here now.
like a t
And I can’t stop touching het.
My hand glides from her waist up to her sibs, fingers splaying wide, holding her like she’s something breakable. Because she is. And I would never forgive myself if added even a hairline crack.
She shifts again. Presses her forehead tighter into my chest and lets out a soft little whimper that nearly shatters m
I murmur, soothing instinctively. “I got you,
She settles My fingers move in slow, careful circles on her back again.
דוו
But it’s anything.
Because I’v
I’ve never held someone like this. Not like I mean it. Not like I could stay like this forever and never want more. And I’ve definitely never wanted more like this before.
I’m going to wake up tomorrow and hate myself.
But for now?
I hold her like
she’s mine
Because tonight, in the silence and the dark, with her breath on my neck and my fingers on her spine, she i
